A new emptiness…


Date: 17-Aug-09

Time: 7.10pm

Venue: Office desk, industrial area of Nitra, a small town in Slovakia (and no, it’s not part of Russia)

As you know by now, my wife and daughter is in Malaysia, staying with my family. My wife is expecting our second child (it’s a BOY!!), and knowing the tough situation of taking care of a new-born and a 2yr old kid at the same time, we decided that it’s best that she stays in Kuching with my family, where there are more hands available to care for her and for Arielle. Then, when the baby is strong enough to fly, they will come back to be with me.

So now, I realized last Sunday that I suddenly had plenty of time in my hands. No longer do I need to wake up 3 hours before going to church on Sunday (but I did anyway, having slept 12hrs before that to beat the jetlag, but I doubt I’ll be repeating that in the near future), nor needing to plan to go anywhere; just take the car key and off I go. Time alone with God now is really TIME ALONE WITH GOD, because there’s no one else in the house. No Arielle to chase after, no wife to nag me… boy, somehow I realised I am not ready for all this short-term freedom.

In all honesty, I miss my wife and Arielle very, VERY much. So many memories were made here together with them. The places that we went together, the foreign food (and taste) that we shared, the people that we met; all these now seems strange because they are not here with me. I was at Aupark yesterday, looking for a cable modem (mine konked out, cos the apartment was flooded, but that’s another story), and it was so weird to be there alone. Li-Ann would always complain whenever we go there, because there’s not much places to go in Bratislava (trust me, with a child, your options are more limited). Now, there’s not even a whimper of “going there AGAIN??”

Well, it’s not all doom and gloom. At least I can look forward to going back this Christmas (with the hope that some airlines will give some ridiculous discount to fly to Malaysia) and be with them during the winter break. I duly hope that Ashton (yup, that’s the boy’s name!) will be strong enough to fly back with us and spare his daddy from more lonely sorrows. O Lord, you know my heart; grant me strength!

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